I’m outtie again this weekend. Yet another 24 Hours of Lemons race I gotta go to. This one up in Sonoma. Sucks considering there are all these fun things going on in L.A. Anyway, have fun.

Friday, March 5

CorkBar 1-Year Anniversary
Downtown wine bar celebrates its one-year anniversary with a special Founder’s Flight ($18) — a selection of five wines that helped inspire the owner to create Corkbar. Includes Brander Sauvignon Blanc, Keenan Chardonnay, Melville Syrah, Terra Valentine Cabernet Sauvignon & Frank Family Zinfandel. They’ll also be pouring some by-the-bottle-only wines by the glass!

• Corkbar, 403 West 12th Street, Los Angeles (map).

Royal/T’s Alice in Wonderland High Tea
Seems L.A. is going mad as a hatter for Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland as evidence by all the high tea events. But Royal/T’s is sure to stand out, not only for its Japanese cosplay servers but the $25 high tea of playing cards tea sandwiches, a vanilla “Eat Me” cupcake, kobe beef slider, a cup of “Drink Me” Royal/T Green Milk Tea blend, blue mushroom-shaped meringues and Cheshire Cat macaroons with Earl Grey tea filling (both by BakeLab). Be sure to swing by on Saturday for the Wonderland-themed fashion show and to check out the newest exhibit, “The Never Ending Story: Fairytale, Fantasy and Obsession.”

• Royal/T, 8910 Washington Boulevard, Culver City (map). (310) 559-6300

Provence Wine Council Tasting Event
Explore the wines from the Provence Region of France at this delicious wine event which is held in conjunction with the Provence Wine Council, a gathering of the largest selection of winemakers from Provence ever assembled on the West Coast. Oenophiles can enjoy 35 not-yet-available labels, winemaker discussions and Provincial French food.

• 6pm-1am. $55 (plus $4.02 transaction fee). Vinoteque on Melrose, 7469 Melrose Avenue, Los Angeles (map).

Friday Night Spirits — Bourbon
What better way to kick off the weekend than with a series of bourbons? The Wine House in West L.A. hosts a bourbon tasting where guests will get to sample all types and styles of my fave booze at a variety of price ranges. Find out which bourbon is your new favorite.

• 7:30pm. $50. The Wine House, 2311 Cotner Avenue, Los Angeles (map). Reservations: 310-479-3731, Ext. 0.

Saturday, March 6

LACMA’s Young Directors’ Night
Celebrate L.A.’s new talent at LACMA’s Young Directors Night. Six short films will be screened and there will be a panel discussion with the directors afterward. But, definitely stay for the after-party across the street at A+D Museum where you can peruse the galleries and video installations and partake of the open bar featuring Maker’s Mark and Malibu Family Wines as well as Sprinkles Cupcakes! If you want to go to the OK Go release party on Friday, you can purchase tickets to that event plus this one for only $40 and save $10.

• 8pm-12am. $30. LACMA’s Bing Theater and A+D Museum, 5905 Wilshire Boulevard, Los Angeles (map).

Sunday, March 7

Beefsteak Sundays at Bacaro LA
Apparently these Beefsteak Sundays are uber popular and there are only 32 seats so chances are it’s already booked up but give it a shot. Sorry! I just found out about this yesterday. If you are SOL, just make your ressies for next month’s event where it’s all-you-can-consume-beer/wine-and steak for only $25! There are two seatings, 5:30pm and 8pm, every first Sunday of the month.

• 5:30pm and 8pm. $25. Bacaro LA, 2308 S Union Avenue, Los Angeles (map). RSVP: Call (213) 748-7205 or email bacaro_la [at] yahoo.com.

Rustic Canyon’s Spring Beer Bash Dinner with the Beer Chick
But I will give you the heads-up to this tasty event on March 23 at the Santa Monica restaurant where, for $75, you get to enjoy five courses of fresh spring fare paired with five beers provided by Beer Chick, Christina Perozzi and featuring local breweries, The Bruery, Craftsman and Skyscraper Brewing Co.

• Event date: Tuesday, March 23. $75 (includes beer). Rustic Canyon, 1119 Wilshire Boulevard, Santa Monica (map). Reservations: (310) 393-7050.

Such a jampacked weekend! And I’m just talking about the 5K/10K Firecracker Run on Sunday as well as the Gold Standard. But here’s what’s going on the other days of the week.

Thursday, February 25

LA Weekly Web Awards Tweetup: A Post-Party Get Together
As many of you know I was banned from 7G nearly two years ago so I was bummed when LA Weekly decided to do its web awards post-party tweetup there tonight. But then realized, hey, that’s kinda cool to celebrate my accolades at a place that actually gave my MySpace photo to the bouncers to keep me out. But tonight all are welcome as the Weekly is inviting not only the Web winners and friends but all those who want to come out and celebrate as well. The first round’s on them! Hope to see you there…cuz who’s got my back?

• 7pm. 7G, 515 West 7th Street, Downtown (map). (213) 614-0737.

The Modern Mai Tai Experience
Jonesin’ for the summer? Immerse yourself in the Modern Mai Tai Experience at the W where you can sample the “World’s Best Mai Tai” created by The Royal Hawaiian’s mixologist Joey Gottesman as well as the next generation of classic cocktails from Honolulu and Waikiki Beach. The Hot Muffins fem DJ duo Lacy Matsumoto and Echo Aoki will be providing the hot tunes to go with your tasty drinks.

• Thursday-Saturday, 9:30pm-2am. Whiskey Blue at the W Los Angeles, 930 Hilgard Avenue, Westwood (map).

Friday, February 26

Bid & Eat Part II
Just 20 days ago blogger Gourmet Pigs launched an online auction to help Haiti and ended up raising $765 for CHF International and Operation USA! After that she received tons of offers for donations to do another auction! This time with more Pasadena/East LA-centric goodies, i.e. Elements Kitchen, The Raymond, Pal Cabron and La Casita Mexicana. Bidding starts tomorrow!

Saturday, February 27

AMC Best Picture 24-Hour Showcase Marathon
Lots of cool movies nominated for Oscars this year…well, except Avatar. But how would you like to spend an entire Saturday watching all 10 nominees back to back? AMC is having a Best Picture 24-hour marathon for you cinephiles out there. The marathon, which costs $45, is showing on March 6th at the AMC in Orange where you’ll get a large popcorn and unlimited refills. Or if you’d rather not go as hard-core, you can see five of the 10 Best Picture nominees all in one day this Saturday instead for $30. You get the popcorn, refills and a pass on a lanyard to come and go as you please.

Monday, March 1

Morton’s The Steakhouse Hosts Scotch Tasting Events
Dammit! Of course this would happen during my liquor fast! At this special Scotch tasting, a Glenlivet ambassador will lead guests through four of The Glenlivet’s acclaimed single malts. The whiskies will be paired with selections from Morton’s classic hors d’oeuvres menu. If you can’t make this one there will also be an event at the downtown location on Friday the 5th from 5:30 to 7pm. Reservations are required. Argh! Temptation!

• 6-7:30pm. $49. The Steakhouse Beverly Hills, 435 S. La Cienega Boulevard, Los Angeles (map). (310) 246-1501.

Love Hurts — Ask the Experts
I used to love watching Greg Behrendt (He’s Just Not That Into You) do standup back in the day so I know this 826LA writer’s panel/mixer will be a fun, if not funny, one. Join Greg and other relationship writers Sascha Rothchild (How to Get Divorced by 30), and Lori Gottlieb (Marry Him) as they offer wisdom and snarkiness to the lovelorn. The first hour will be the Q&A and then afterward the drinking and mingling. All proceeds will go to 826LA.

• 8-10pm. $25 (includes one drink ticket). Busby’s East, 5364 Wilshire, Los Angeles (map).

Boo. Looks like the rain is back this weekend to remind us that it is in fact still winter. Fortunately most of the events are indoors.

Thursday, February 18

Win a Pair of Gold Standard Tickets From POM Wonderful
Name a mocktail and win your chance at two tickets to Jonathan Gold’s Gold Standard Event on February 28. POM Wonderful has come up with a mocktail and now needs an awesome name for it. If the panel of POM judges like your entry then you win! Easy-peasy, right? The drink will be sampled at the Gold Standard.

LA Lomography Grand Opening Party
Celebrate the grand opening of the first Lomography Gallery Store and official Lomography Embassy on the West Coast. There will be booze, mariachi music, food and dancing girls. RSVP to shopla@lomography.com.

• 7pm. 7998 Santa Monica Boulevard, West Hollywood (map).

Friday, February 19

Dead Author Readings at Upright Citizens Brigade
Witness the conversation between some of the greatest minds in literature. Or basically a verbal cat fight between dead authors J.D. Salinger (Marc Evan Jackson) and Edgar Allan Poe (Craig Cackowski) with H.G. Wells (Paul F. Tompkins) moderating. They can be so bitchy! Anyway the audience not only gets to listen in on this but they get to ask questions, too, as they’re transported to an alternate universe where these guys are still alive and living during the same era.

• 7-9pm. $5. UCB Theater, 5919 Franklin, Los Angeles (map).

Matthew Broderick Double Feature at New Beverly Cinema
Jason Reitman, director of Up in the Air, kicks off his guest programming set at the New Beverly Cinema by introducing his fave Matthew Broderick movies, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and Election. Heyyy, what about WarGames?

• 7:30pm. New Beverly Cinema, 7165 W. Beverly Boulevard, Los Angeles (map).

Saturday, February 20

LACMA Muse and Komodo Truck in Culver City
An artsy burrito? Yup, the Komodo truck will unveil a custom “avant garde burrito known as The Muse at the Susanne Vielmetter Los Angeles Projects in Culver City. At the after-hours exhibit, guest will be able to chat with artists and take advantage of the free beer/wine/soju bar. To RSVP, email sgregg@lacma.org with “Muse in Culver City” in the subject line. Include your email address and the number in your party in the body of the email.

• 7-10pm. Free or $10 donation. Susanne Vielmetter Los Angeles Projects, 6006 Washington Boulevard, Culver City (map).

Happy heart.

There’s more going on this Sunday the 14th than romantic candlelit dinners (although there does seem to be a ton of those this year) and long walks on the beach. You don’t have to be all in luuuuve and stuff to enjoy the following events. If anything, I say go on and enjoy them with your friends. Ha! Up yours, Valentine’s Day!

4th Street Vine: Winter Beer Tasting
Wow! Taste seven full flavored ales, including three Trappists, for $15! So what if it’s in the LBC? At this boutique wine shop on Retro Row, you’ll get to enjoy the likes of Westmalle Trappist Tripel, Rochefort 8 Trappist and St. Bernardus Christmas Ale. Nice and hearty for this cold albeit sunny weather we’re having. Although weather reports say we’ll be enjoying 70-degree weather this weekend. Never mind. Beer still good!

• 2:30-6pm. $15/person. 4th Street Vine, 2142 E. 4th Street, Long Beach (map). (562) 343-5463.

Silverlake Wine: Sparkling Wine Sunday Tasting + Heirloom LA
Nah, you don’t have to be in love to enjoy bubbly. It’s a good thing, too, since sparkling-wine-loving singles and couples will love this Sunday’s tasting which features beauts like Clavelin “Brut Comte” Cremant de Jura NV, Sommariva Prosecco di Conegliano NV / Italy and Tintero Moscato d’Asti “Sori Gramela” NV 2009. Heirloom LA will be providing the nibbles. Reservations required.

• 3pm or 6pm. $20/person. Silverlake Wine, 2395 Glendale Boulevard, Silver Lake (map). (323) 662-9024.

City Sip LA: Cheesy and Sweet Beer Tasting
Nothing says cheesy luuuve holiday like cheese, chocolate and beer. There are still spots available for this wonderful event where beer expert, Alex Macy, will guide you through eight beers and cheese and chocolate pairings.

• 4:30-6pm. $35. City Sip LA, 2150 W. Sunset Boulevard, Los Angeles (map). RSVP to: Cupid@citysipla.com or call (213) 483- 9463.

Verdugo Bar: One Night Stand With Frysmith
And if you want even more beer, the Verdugo Bar and French fry truck, Frysmith, have conspired to create a heart-stopping menu with four courses like seared sea scallops, duck legs and lemon jam and apple fries with a beer tasting.

• 7:30pm. $23 advance, $28 at the door. Verdugo Bar, 3408 Verdugo Road, Los Angeles (map). (818) 371-6814.

Aero Theatre: Hitchcock Double Feature
Want something dark and suspenseful to counter all that saccharine? A Hitchcock double feature made to order with classics, Rebecca and Notorious! Both with two swoon-worthy leading men, Laurence Olivier and Cary Grant. Le sigh!

• 7:30pm. $11. Aero Theatre, 1328 Montana Avenue, Santa Monica (map).

King King: Mortified LA — Doomed Valentine’s Show
Remember when you were a teenager and every minor romantic setback seemed like the end of the world? “Dear Diary, Jimmy didn’t even look at me today. I want to die!” Well share in the pain at this Valentine edition of the comedy show where ordinary folk get up on stage and bear their soul via their own teenage diaries. Funny!

• Doors open 7:10, show 8pm. $15 advance, $20 door. King King, 6555 Hollywood Boulevard, Hollywood (map).

For more ideas on what to do that’s Valentine-ish, check out Goldstar.

Yes, there’s actually more going on this weekend besides that awesome LA Street Food Fest and, oh yeah, Valentine’s Day. I give you the following.

Friday, February 12

Wally’s Tent Sale
It’s that time of year again. Time to stockpile some booze on the cheap thanks to Wally’s huge tented wine sale. For three days, you can shop wine, spirits, beer and food products at discounted prices, up to 80% off. And that includes  single malt scotch and bourbon from 10 to 50% off, like Lagavulin 16 for $64.99 ($90 regular) and Macallan 12 for $37.99 ($50 regular). Gimme!

• Friday-Sunday, 9am-5pm. Wally’s Wine, 2107 Westwood Boulevard, Los Angeles (map). (310) 475-0606.

Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf’s Chai Lover Open House
Free beverages, you like that! Coffee Bean will be giving away complimentary 12-ounce chai tea, chai rooibos, and chai mate lattes (one drink per customer) from 4 to 7pm at participating locations (Ralphs locations not included). Chai Mate Tea Latte is combined with steamed nonfat milk and signature vanilla powder.  The caffeine-free Chai Rooibos Tea Latte is an herbal infusion made with naturally sweet rooibos.

• 4-7pm. Participating Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf locations.

Eagle Rock Art Show and Free Booze
More free beverages! This time it’s free Pabst Blue Ribbon and free wine at this boozy art show. Another awesome thing is that a portion of the proceeds from artwork sales will be used for aid relief in Haiti.

• 8pm. 5050 Grind Footwear, 1754 Colorado Boulevard, Los Angeles (map). (323) 254-5070.

Saturday, February 13

Confection Jewels Launch Party at Fred Segal
Confection Jewels is launching its hand-crafted vintage cocktail ring collection at the Fred Segal Melrose and shoppers will not only get to chat with the designer but enjoy free prosecco and Sprinkles cupcakes! First 10 customers score a gift with purchase.

• 3-6pm. Fred Segal, 8118 Melrose Avenue, Los Angeles (map).

Devil’s Drive-In: Sid & Nancy
Who knew that so many people would think that this movie about one of the most dysfunctional couples in rock history would be the perfect flick for a romantic pre-Valentine night? All the presale tickets are already sold out! But there are still plenty of car spots and walk-in spots (they just bought new red astroturf!)  if you get here before 6. Remember, it’s OK to BYOB and the Angel City Derby Girls will be on hand to deliver food.

• 6pm doors open, 7:30pm show starts. $10. 240 W. 4th Street, Downtown (map).

Sunday, February 14

Valentine activity list to come…

Monday, February 15

Comme Ca Celebrates President’s Day with President-Inspired $4.40 Cocktails
The Melrose restaurant will be serving up cocktails inspired by our nation’s most significant presidents for the holiday and each one is only $4.40, in honor of our 44th president. Frost/Nixon is a version of the classic “Last Word” with gin, fresh lime juice, Green Charteuse and maraschino. FDR is Comme Ca’s “Dark & Stormy.” Washington is the bar’s “Penicillin” cocktail of Scotch, ginger, lemon and honey. And naturally the Kennedy is a Cuba Libre.

• Comme Ca, 8479 Melrose Avenue, West Hollywood (map). (323) 782-1104.

Stinkers Good-Bye Party
Say good-bye to the “last trucker bar in L.A.” with $2 Colt 45 Tall Boys and spun tunes by DJs Jimmy James and Eden Knievel. The short-lived Stinkers is shedding its Burt-Reynolds, Trans-Am, skunk-butts-loving self for a classier bar with more whiskey. In the meantime, stop by the bar during the weekend for giveaways of the remaining memorabilia.

• 8pm-2am. Stinkers, 2939 West Sunset Boulevard, Silver Lake (map). (323) 661-6007.