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What: Sly and the Family Stone’s “Hot Fun in the Summertime”

Who: Those dying from the heat who have access to a grassy lawn and sprinklers.

When/Where: The Valley, the Inland Empire, suburbia front lawns everywhere or city streets with an open fire hydrant during this scorcher of a summer.

Why: It just sounds like the perfect song for a slow-mo montage of kids running and splashing through sprinklers or a gushing fire hydrant, people sitting on porches laughing and drinking iced tea and riots of water balloon fights. The slow pace of this 1969 hit evokes heat-induced lethargy when you only have enough energy to try to keep cool.

What: “Summertime Rolls” by Jane’s Addiction from Nothing’s Shocking

Who: Surfers and other crazies who like to be up at the crack of dawn on a weekend morning.

When/Where: In the early AM when you’re driving on that stretch of the Pacific Coast Highway from Santa Monica to Zuma.

Why: Jane’s Addiction music basically goes with any surfing moment and this slower song matches the drive to the beach before you catch some waves. Goes perfect with the pink hues of dawn on a nice lazy drive when there’s no traffic on the PCH just yet to interfere with this meditative moment. There’s just you on the road and the surfers waiting in the water with the occasional dolphin sighting.

What: “Lost Cause” by Beck

Who: Stranded Angelenos staring at rainy days through their windows.

When/Where: Today! or any ol’ rainy day when you’re stuck indoors.

Why: This song is so sad and mellow. I can just imagine sitting on a couch watching the drops of rain run down the window pane. You want to go outside, but what exactly can you do when it’s wet out? L.A. drivers are scarier in the rain, some of the most fun things to do in the city are best reserved for a non-rainy day, and who wants to get wet? Mourn the lost day with Beck and his guitar.

Happy Valentine’s Day! Make way for the cheese.

What: “At Last” by Etta JamesWho: For all you young lovers out there on this Valentine’s Day.

When/Where: After that romantic V-Day dinner when you go for an evening stroll with your sweetheart along the beach and then spontaneously slow dance together under the full moon.

Why: The violins, the lyrics, Etta’s voice all blend together perfectly to make the most beautiful love song. “My heart was wrapped up in clovers, the night I looked at you…” Le sigh! The swaying rhythm of it evokes an image of a couple holding each other and rocking slowly to the music, oblivious to the world around them.

Cough, cough..ack! Too. Much. Cheese. OK, as you were.

What: Tomoyasu Hotei’s “Battle Without Honor or Humanity”

Who: Those about to do battle….or those about to rock, whether you’re the screenwriter about to make the big pitch, the scrawny kid about to confront the big bully, or simply someone about to cross the room because you didn’t like the way that bastard in the corner looked at you.

When/Where: During the long walk to where this throwdown is about to go down.

Why: It makes you feel like a bad ass. And I just imagine walking down, no, strutting down, an alley in slow motion with my girls behind me ready to back me up, if for some reason I need it. Not likely, but you never know.

Before my friend Marianna departed for London for half a year, she shared with me this little story. She, a big fan of music, was giving her guy friend a music makeover by taking him CD shopping when he asked her up front, “So which CD will get me laid?” “Robert Miles’ Dreamland” was her fast reply. Later when she saw her friend again, she asked him if he got any because of that CD. “Ohhh yeahhh,” was his smug answer.

What: Robert Miles’ Dreamland

Who: Baby bachelors and bachelorettes.

When/Where: After a date when you’ve brought your conquest back to your place for a “night cap.”

Why: According to Marianna, it is the perfect soundtrack from seduction to happy ending. When I asked her if she could be more specific, she only offered, “It’s just a fabulous CD.” ‘Nuff said.

What: “Switch” by Will Smith, “Lose Control” by Missy Elliott, “My Humps” by The Black-Eyed Peas Who: All right, wake-up songs will differ for every individual, but me? I like the booty-shaking ones, even if it means that my dancing is confined to the desk. When/Where: At work with your headphones on, of course.

Why: Because you didn’t get enough sleep the night before and that venti latte did absolutely nothing for you.

What: “In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning” by Frank Sinatra

Who: Lonely broken-hearted folks. Think Frank getting over Ava.

When: Right before last call or driving around a sleeping city (sober!) at 3 a.m.

Where: Best if you’re sitting on a bar stool at your local dive bar (I like the Lost & Found and I think they might have this in their jukebox) with your head in your hands, feeling sorry for yourself and there’s no one else around except you and the kindly bartender…and a smattering of passed-0ut barflies.

Why: Usually Frankie’s version of any song is the most upbeat and positive rendition you can get. But with this song, he’s uncharacteristically morose, perfect for when you just need to wallow in your own misery to get it out of your system. And then the next morning, you’re all better. Hopefully.

What: “The Sunshine Underground” by The Chemical Brothers

Who: Stay-at-home NYE revellers.

When: At 11:56 pm, a little before the countdown begins.

Where: Wherever there’s a broadcast of that big Waterford crystal ball dropping in Times Square.

Why: Hit “Play” at about 11:56:07 pm and you have a great soundtrack to the ball dropping. Trippy. The music almost seems to be in sync with the 696 flashing lights. There’s the buildup of the drums which sound almost tribal whipping you up into a frenzy, and then the transition in music seems to signal when the ball hits 2006. The song continues for another 4 minutes, but you’ll be dancing and jumping around in elation. Happy New Year!

What: “Santa Baby” by Kylie Minogue Who: Those who consider video iPods to be just another stocking stuffer and want to coax a lot more from their “Santas.” When: Now. There are still 5 shopping days until Christmas! But of course that special-ordered Mercedes SLR McLaren will have to wait til next year. Where: In the privacy of your Santa’s beach house/mansion where sufficient coaxing can take place.

Why: Kylie Minogue’s rendition of “Santa Baby” is the sexiest. Madonna’s homage to Betty Boop is more comical than sexy and Eartha Kitt’s is a bit old-fashioned and staid compared to this version. Kylie seems to have fun with it. You can just see the seduction of Santa taking place through all her breathy Marilyn-esque ad libs.

What: “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” by Henry Mancini

Who: People who don’t mind waiting so much. They’re out there. Somewhere.

When: Standing in a ridiculously long line. Where: At the DMV or, seasonally speaking, in the long line for the register when you’re out shopping for gifts. Why: It makes the waiting almost comical. It doesn’t do you or the people around you any good to get irate waiting for your turn which will come eventually, so just laugh and hum to yourself. “Do do do doo doo doooo….”

What: “Let Down” by Radiohead

Who: Passengers-to-be or those already in the air.

When: After you’ve already checked in and are sitting there with your boarding pass. Where: I say LAX instead of John Wayne or Burbank, simply because it’s more hectic. But this song is fitting in the waiting area when you’re seated and you can see the airplanes taking off and landing. It’s also a good soundtrack when you’re in the plane flying over the clouds, preferably during sunrise or sunset.

Why: It makes your waiting amid the buzz of the busy airport feel like an ethereal, zen experience.

What: “Whole Lotta Love” by Led Zeppelin Who: Two very randy consenting adults. When: After a night of drinking when you’re feeling all revved up. Where: Since it grossed out my brother when I specifically named places around L.A., I’ll just say, “Anywhere–bedroom, dark alley, backseat of a ‘69 Chevy Chevelle SS.”

Why: That guitar is raunchy! The song just sounds like the urgency of clothes coming off…and the after effects of that. Oh, and check out Robert Plant’s vocal stylings if you need some, um, inspiration.

I think this will be my new weekly thing: songs inspired in and around L.A. moments.

What: “Ooh La La” by Goldfrapp (Windows Media Player or Real Player) Who: For optimum experience, you have to be a girl in a Pontiac Solstice or a Mazda Miata, maybe even a convertible Mini Cooper. But it can’t be more upscale because that’s just a different soundtrack for a different type of person. When: Sunny day, like today for top-down driving.

Where: Anywhere scenic where you can pick up some speed. For me, I was just driving into work but coming down 20th Street with the Santa Monica Mountains so vivid was a beautiful thing.

Why: Makes you feel free, optimistic and even a little sexy.