Category Archives: Places I’ll Never Show My Face in Again

Places I’ll Never Show My Face in Again: Wokcano Santa Monica

It was just last year when I attended the grand opening party of the Wokcano in Santa Monica. After being turned off by its sugary cocktails and high-priced sushi, I secretly vowed to never show my face there again. Eh, not really my thing but if it’s your thing then that’s OK. I just didn’t see a reason to make a big deal of my meh opinion of it.

But then Wokcano‘s PR person enticed me to pay the restaurant another visit with her pitch of the “Get Bombed” menu, which, even though I’m not a big bomb/shots fan I was still curious about their special $3 sake, Jager and Irish Car bombs. The special was only during certain hours of the week. I won’t list them here since we’re still not exactly sure when they are.

In any case, since the PR person also mentioned the restaurant’s new summer roll, a BBQ kobe tempura roll, I naturally thought to invite food bloggers Sarah of The Delicious Life (who came despite her unfortunate encounter with the Doritos roll in a previous visit) and H.C. of LA and OC Foodventures; and Connie of music blog Hey, Hey Scenesters tagged along for good measure.

Now as food bloggers we get invited to the occasional media event and hosted dinner to check out the restaurant’s offerings. And it’s usually unspoken that these things are comped. So naturally as said food bloggers we assumed that that would be the case here. Because bbq rolls and sake bombs are things we wouldn’t order on our own.

In any case, for reasons I won’t get into, we didn’t get to try those items. Apparently every Wokcano (there are six locations in L.A.) has different items and different specials, yada yada. But instead of leaving with empty stomachs, we decided to stay and just try the dishes we wanted to try since we’d be paying for it out of our own pockets. I ordered the Late Night Party Roll ($14.95), which is crabmeat, avocado roll topped with baked lobster, scallop and smelt egg in a creamy sauce. Since I couldn’t have a bomb, the waiter kept trying to get me to try out another cocktail. But after my stellar Golden Jubilee cocktail I had down the street at Copa d’Oro beforehand I just wasn’t in the mood to make the best of it with one of theirs.

Sarah ordered the spicy garlic chicken entree ($13.95) and Connie got the Black Pearl Roll ($14.95) – salmon, tuna, yellowtail and cream cheese wrapped with seaweed and deep-fried in tempura and topped with black sesame and butter garlic sauce. H.C. requested the Aromatic Shrimp ($15.95) with spicy sweet and sour sauce.

Of those items, guess which we thought was the best?

Places I’ll Never Show My Face in Again: Amandine Patisserie

Not a great place for a sidewalk cafe table

In my on-going search for new favorite breakfast places on the Westside, I decided to give Amandine Patisserie, located in Santa Monica/Brentwood, a go. It’s just a couple of blocks west of my current fave, Literati Cafe, and it’s gotten a ton of decent reviews on Yelp, The Delicious Life, and Chowhound. I read their online menu and with French toast and omelette specialties and yummy-sounding French pastries galore, how could I go wrong?

Well, turns out I could go a lot wrong. My problem wasn’t so much with the food as it was the entire experience — from counter service to finding a seat to table service to finishing my meal.

Places I’ll Never Show My Face in Again: American Airlines and Alamo Rent-a-Car

Flying Coach

American Airlines

How is it that with all the advancements in technology to make our lives as comfortable as possible, they still haven’t applied that science to airplanes? In fact it seems like airplanes are increasingly becoming the most uncomfortable way to travel out of the planes-trains-automobiles transportation triad. Case in point: my trip to Maui via American Airlines.

Places I’ll Never Show My Face in Again: Bloomingdales M.A.C. Counter

macmakeup.gif
Since I now live down the street from Century City, I find myself frequenting it a lot more than I used to. Instead of going there once a year, so far this month alone I’ve gone three times. It’s all redone and fancy now with its brand-new cineplex and swanky food court, and new stores that aren’t really my style. And yet somehow I end up there, wishful window-shopping.

Fantasy shopping central and the main attraction at Century City is Bloomingdales. Oooh, Stuart Weitzman pumps! Oooh, a Diane Von Furstenberg dress!

However, for obvious reasons I never buy anything there. But one weeknight while I was waiting for my friend Kevin to return an unwanted Star Trek-looking shirt, I wandered over to the M.A.C. counter in my ongoing search for a “daytime red.” There weren’t that many people around. “Great!” I thought, “I won’t feel bad enlisting a salesperson in my quest for my new lipstick.”

Places-I’ll-Never-Show-My-Face-in-Again Twins Up for Grabs

Not my twins

Remember them?

Months ago I wrote about how Shutterfly sent the wrong picture to my mom for Mother’s Day. Instead of an old family portrait she got a 16×20 portrait of unknown twin babies taking a bath. Well, I have been trying to get my hands on this odd canvas picture ever since then but my parents, much to my dismay, thought they threw it away. But when I came back up to Sacramento for the Christmas holiday my mom surprised me by presenting the long-lost portrait.

It’s so hiliarous…and yet kinda cute. But after much thought, I can’t keep it cuz, really, where would I put it? My mom suggested that I put it up in my bathroom but that would be a really weird thing for a single girl who really doesn’t like kids to display, wouldn’t it? So I decided to give this strange bit of PINSMFA “memorabilia” away. So whomever wants it — collectors of cute, Anne Geddes fans, etc. — just leave a comment here or if you want to be more discreet, drop me a line (caro @ carolineoncrack.com), and consider it my Xmas present to you. I think whomever ordered this picture for real must have paid about $140 since that’s how much we paid for the real family portrait, but you can pick this beauty up for free. I just want the kids to go to a good home where someone will appreciate them. Or is this picture too weird for anyone except people who know said twins?

Places I’ll Never Show My Face in Again: Coyote Ugly Saloon

Freaked on at Coyote Ugly

Wow, three PINSMFAs in quick succession. I’m on a bitchy roll. But this had to be said even if it is in Vegas. Coyote Ugly Saloon is only a good place to go to if you’re a single 20-something guy who just can’t get laid. Go to Coyote Ugly where there are plenty of writhing drunk girls for you to rub your junk against.

The bachelorette party from hell went here Saturday night for some dancing after dinner at Gonzalez y Gonzalez in New York New York. It was the only place anyone could think of that had a decent cover price ($10), a short line and proximity. The place was packed and the music loud. We flocked here for the dancing but it looked like the only real dancing was taking place on stage where girls were invited to take the spotlight for a free shot of whatever the MC was pouring. Little did I know that that was the only place where a girl could dance without getting freaked on by Night at the Roxbury rejects.

Places I’ll Never Show My Face in Again: Bachelorette Party in Vegas

Blowup Doll on Chapman

OK, let me preface this by saying this isn’t Vegas’ fault, the fact that I’m currently taking part in what is probably the worst bachelorette-party-in-Vegas experience ever. But it certainly hasn’t endeared Sin City to me either.

First off, I hate bachelorette parties. Drunk girls screaming out the sunroofs of limos, drunk girls pawing strippers, drunk girls playing drinking games, drunk girls dancing on tops of tables and drinking from penis-shaped sippy cups…not my thing. But I went anyway. Dre sold it to me as a good time and since she’s never steered me wrong before, I was game. “We don’t have to do anything we don’t want to,” she promised.