On the biggest drinking night of the year when even the light drinkers may tipple in too much champagne, it’s just smart to have a backup to your backup designated driver. Because, come on, it’s the new year and everyone is going to celebrate till they just can’t celebrate no mo. Just make sure you have the following info handy so you can get home safely and live to see 2007. With a selection of offers for free tows and free metro rides as well as an option for your own personal driver, you’ve got no reason to get behind the wheel this NYE.

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This past summer on one of those beautifully hot days (remember those? le sigh), me and my bro, a WeHo inhabitant, wanted to get a cold & tasty treat so he decided to take me to Pinkberry, a yogurt shop in his hood. But when we got there there was a long-ass line of Pinkberry faithfuls stretching out the door onto the sidewalk. On other hot days following, we tried going there again only to be met with the same impossibly long queue of yogurt addicts. And what was eerie was that none of them seem peeved to be standing in a long, slow-moving line in the hot sun. Instead they all shared that same glazed-over, expressionless look you see on cult members. Online, the Pinkberry cult is out in full effect as reviews tout this all-natural, non-fat dessert option’s real-yogurt-ness. Even then I was eh about it. It’s yogurt, what’s the big deal?

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After the biggest celebration of the year, no doubt you’ll be suffering from the biggest hangover of the year. Fortunately, Downtown LA’s Golden Gopher has the cure for what ails you: an all night happy hour on January 1st! So thoughtful!

From 5pm to 2am, the Gopher will serve up $4 well cocktails, $3 PBRs and $6 Low Lifes. I recommend enjoying your cocktails on one of the plush couches on the outdoor patio (lay your coat down first), best on the rare occasion when there are no smokers around. There’s nothing like stretching out and looking up at the bit of night sky that isn’t obscured by the tall surrounding buildings to get a real feel for the city.

EVENT: MONDAY, JANUARY 1 from 5pm to 2am

Golden Gopher
417 West 8th Street
Los Angeles, California 90014
(213) 614-9909

Flickr Shot by JToddM

New Year’s Eve is just around the corner and you and your honey are getting pressed for time on what to do to celebrate. ‘Cept you two don’t want anything too crazy like having to count down in the middle of a mob at Giant Maximus or Gridlock. Perhaps a six-course dinner topped off with a champagne toast at midnight might be more your scene. And maybe if you’re feeling a little adventurous, some dancing? The following L.A. restaurants, which apparently still have available reservations even at this 11th hour, present lovely ways to count down when you just want it one on one.

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Stranded in L.A. during Christmas because your immediate family is an unaffordable plane ticket away? Consider yourself the lucky one because 1) you don’t have to deal with the horror that is holiday travel and 2) you can spend the 25th nursing a luscious Toasted Marshmallow while singing your favorite Xmas songs with other orphaned Angelenos during the Bigfoot Lodge’s very special holiday Rock-n-Roll Karaoke. Lucky!

Christmas karaoke at my family gettogethers consists of my Auntie Nina’s cat-yowling rendition of Pat Boone’s “April Love” and my mom’s tearful interpretation of Patsy Cline’s “Crazy” all while accompanied by cheesy karaoke videos and ’70s-style synthesizers. Ay yah! Don’t worry, I’ll be sucking down the nog and Malibu Rum to numb the pain. But you, my friends, will get to hang out with hip people who are around your own age and may even get to hear some pretty good performances.

If you get there a bit before the show, consider driving through the DWP Holiday Light Festival in Griffith Park for some holiday inspiration. Merry Christmas to all and to all a rockin’ good night.

EVENT: MONDAY, DECEMBER 25 from 10pm to 2am

Bigfoot Lodge
3172 Los Feliz Boulevard
Los Angeles, California 90039
(323) 662-9227

Remember them?

Months ago I wrote about how Shutterfly sent the wrong picture to my mom for Mother’s Day. Instead of an old family portrait she got a 16×20 portrait of unknown twin babies taking a bath. Well, I have been trying to get my hands on this odd canvas picture ever since then but my parents, much to my dismay, thought they threw it away. But when I came back up to Sacramento for the Christmas holiday my mom surprised me by presenting the long-lost portrait.

It’s so hiliarous…and yet kinda cute. But after much thought, I can’t keep it cuz, really, where would I put it? My mom suggested that I put it up in my bathroom but that would be a really weird thing for a single girl who really doesn’t like kids to display, wouldn’t it? So I decided to give this strange bit of PINSMFA “memorabilia” away. So whomever wants it — collectors of cute, Anne Geddes fans, etc. — just leave a comment here or if you want to be more discreet, drop me a line (caro @ carolineoncrack.com), and consider it my Xmas present to you. I think whomever ordered this picture for real must have paid about $140 since that’s how much we paid for the real family portrait, but you can pick this beauty up for free. I just want the kids to go to a good home where someone will appreciate them. Or is this picture too weird for anyone except people who know said twins?

You want to kill someone, don’t you? You probably had it up to here with those dysfunctional family gettogethers and stressful holiday shopping mob scenes where you could only scream inside your head. Take out that frustration by taking in a double feature of bad-ass cops beating up and blasting away some bad guys who really had it coming. Ah, sweet justice. The New Beverly Cinema will be showing Bullitt and Dirty Harry before, during and after Christmas.

Watching some ultraviolence dealt out by the likes of uber men, McQueen & Eastwood, will be just the thing after being beaten down by the cranky crowds of last-minute shoppers at the Beverly Center or the Grove. Remember that infamous nail-biting car chase through the streets of San Francisco with Bullitt and the Mustang or when Harry asked a punk a very important question via his .44 Magnum? Do you feel better already? Well, do ya…punk? Sorry, couldn’t resist.

EVENT: SUNDAY, DECEMBER 24 at 3:20pm
MONDAY-TUESDAY, DECEMBER 25-26 at 7:30pm

7165 West Beverly Boulevard
Los Angeles, California 90036
(323) 938-4038
Admission: $7 general, $6 students

I hate mall parking garages. They’re so claustrophobic and trafficky, made even worse during the holidays by angry, angry last-minute holiday shoppers. (Relax, people, it’s Christmas!) So last night as I battled with said holiday shoppers in a crowded Target parking lot for one measly spot to open up, I thought about how fortunate I am to have the super-secret alternative parking spaces that I do for my fave malls during this holiday season. I’ll share ‘em with you but keep in mind that I have no problem with walking as I gladly give up proximity for ease of entrance/exit. And those of you who plan to do a lot of shopping may not want to carry a bunch of bags and boxes for long distances. Most of these are street parking with meters (and the occasional non-metered spots) but if you go after 6pm or on Sunday, in most cases you get to park for free, just mind the parking signs. Also they’re located far away enough from the malls where you can avoid most of the traffic.

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When I first sampled Saints & Sinners’ cocktail list during their launch party, I skipped over their Holy Water cocktail ($10), a lethal martini made up of both premium gin (Tanqueray) and vodka (Ketel One, I think). Back then, I was still into the sweet drinks and that just sounded unappetizing. But the other night when I revisited that cocktail list, Holy Water was the only thing that appealed to me. I think I was just in a mood for an actual martini.

The bartender raised an eyebrow and shook his head while he served it up. “My wife won’t let me drink those,” he said. “Why not?” I asked. “Because then she’d have to deal with me.” Hmm, sounds like trouble.

It looked innocent enough sitting in its martini glass with two big green olives resting at the bottom. But when I took that first sip, I knew that I’d be praying the next morning…for the throbbing hangover to go away. Now that’s a drink. After the first three sips, I felt the telltale signs of a buzz coming on. That was quick! The other night when I had drinks at the Cheesecake Factory in Brentwood, even after three mixed drinks I felt nothing. (I knowww, it was the Cheesecake Factory.) Here, this one drink did the job of four.

Of course I couldn’t consume the whole cocktail in its concentrated form so I poured some ice water in there to make it bearable. Only then could I finish it.

If you want to anesthetize a wound or warm up during these especially chilly nights, try out this unholy martini. It’ll get the job done.

10899 Venice Boulevard
Los Angeles, California 90034
(310) 842-8066
Cross Street: Kelton Avenue

This year, no crazy New Year’s Eve parties for me. Nope this time I decided an intimate NYE affair at my place was the way I wanted to start off 2007. But I know there are a lot of Angelenos out there who want the chaos and huge crowds to make their NYE memorable. For those of you who do want to get all dressed up and pay a hefty price to get in a hot party, may I suggest the following grand fetes?

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For no reason in particular, check out this Great Truck and SUV Shots ‘07 Wall Calendar ($15.99). OK, I lied. That’s me on the cover and also in the November shot, doing my impression of a paparazzi-plagued It Girl. Heh. So yeah, that’s not my car or my dog (although Little Tino isn’t as annoying or pretentious as he looks). And don’t worry, the other months are just of vehicles.

But wouldn’t this be the perfect holiday gift for that truck/SUV fan you know, like your mechanic, your Escalade-driving brother-in-law or that neighbor who likes parking his Tacoma on his lawn?

Stock up on your fave L.A. staple or dare to Christmas shop for your fashionista friends at the two denim sales going on this weekend. They’re huuuge. The first one is the Holiday Designer Denim Sale at Smashbox Studios in Culver City where you have 4,000 pairs of skinny jeans, bootcuts, etc. to choose from. A percentage of the proceeds will go to Project Nightlight. Prices are 65% off retail. This doesn’t seem to be a sample sale like the other one on Sunday at the Convention Center. Credit cards and cash only. No apparent fee to get in.

EVENT: SATURDAY, DECEMBER 16 from 10AM to 8PM

8549 Higuera Street
Culver City, California 90232

The Warehouse Sale at the Los Angeles Convention Center on the other hand is an invite-only sample denim sale for men and women that charges $3 at the door without an RSVP, but you can respondez s’il vous plait here before the event. There is a VIP sale the day before on the 16th for you fancy folk who want to get a jump on the goods. You just have to pay $15 here or $25 at the door the day of. Credit cards and cash only.

EVENT: SUNDAY, DECEMBER 17 from 10AM to 4PM

Los Angeles Convention Center
South Hall J
1201 South Figueroa Street
Los Angeles, California 90015

Flickr Shot by MissShell321

Forget the DWP Griffith Festival of Lights. Why not double your holiday pleasure with 1,000 Christmas lights reflecting off the waters at Long Beach’s Shoreline Village? The Long Beach Parade of 1,000 Lights is celebrating its 23rd year of decorated boats showing off their luminescent finery in Queensway Bay. This year’s theme, “Christmas South of the Border” sounds like it’ll turn out some extra colorful creations. Hopefully. Grab some waterfront seats at Tequila Jack’s and throw back some tequila shots to get into the spirit of things.

You can also enjoy the show at Shoreline Park around the Lighthouse. The event itself is free but you’ll have to pay for parking at the Shoreline Village, the Aquarium of the Pacific or snag a metered parking spot.

EVENT: SATURDAY, DECEMBER 16 at 6:30PM

429 Shoreline Village Dr # P
Long Beach, California 90802
(562) 435-2668

Flickr Shot by Kiracle

Every winter Pershing Square is transformed into the “Rockefeller Center of the West,” except this little slice of an ice rink in Downtown L.A. is not as big or as popular. And as much as I wanted to like Downtown on Ice in my quest for wintry holiday fun in Southern California, I found it boring, crowded and not fun at all.

But, look! Silver Lake’s indie rock nightclub, Spaceland, is taking over the rink once a week. Every Thursday through January 11, the club sponsors A-list indie bands who will play free concerts for the masses that show up to iceskate or those who just want to pull up a lawn chair and enjoy the show. I choose the latter.

Tomorrow night check out the Submarines and Great Northern at the rink. To see who else will be playing Pershing, look up the park’s schedule.

After a two-hour concert in the elements (brrrr! 52 degrees!), you might want to saunter on down to the Golden Gopher on 8th Street for a nice warming cup of whiskey. Yum.

EVENT: THURSDAY, DECEMBER 14 from 8-10PM

532 S. Olive Street
Los Angeles, California 90013
(213) 847-4970
Admission for iceskating: $6 per hour; skate rental $2